The Mayor has taken so much heat from police officers and firefighters that want a pay scale. Soon all of the fire stations and precincts will be presented with state of the art pay scales. The recipients of these new machines will be required to weigh once per week at a cost of $1.00 per person. It will be a bargain though because in addition to the machine printing out horoscopes, it will also print lottery numbers that can be used for Cash 3; Cash 4 and the Big Game.The Mayor got the idea for the pay scales, while watching WMAZ when volunteers were weighing in before starting the "It starts with the heart exercise plan", as he realized that is what the police officers and fire fighters have been wanting for so long. It will encourage our public servants to keep in shape, and it will provide a needed job or two in the City.
When ask who would be in charge of collecting the weights of all of the firefighters and police officers each week, the Mayor said that would first require a study to see what the new weight requirements are. In the interim, a new Weight Czar will report to the CAO at a cost of $98,000 per year with full benefits and new Crown Victoria, and their duty will be to collect money from the pay scales and keep them stocked with horoscopes and lottery number slips.
If it is true, that the City Council is considering increasing the Council size to 45 members, as reported by WMCC News on Blogspot, the Mayor may order pay scales for City Hall. Most likely the pay scales installed at City Hall would accept City provided credit cards, and employees with such cards could weigh as often as they wish. But this would probably require an assistant to report to the Weight Czar to keep the scales stocked with lottery numbers to use and horoscope slips.
The details of this report are the result of a nightmare and should not be relied upon for accuracy.
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